Author: James Spindler >>
• Editor
Genre: Character Driven / Action / Road Movie Style
Fandom: The Terminator Franchise 7
Premise: The story opens with the police investigation into Toby’s disappearance. We take our time with the speculation, the police interviews and the suspicion falling on the mother. We then cut to the cabs A of a long-haul truck miles away. Jamie is in the passenger seats. She is wearing a boy’s coat. The driver is talking at her, unaware of who he has picked up. As he speaks, we reveal the “murder kit” concealed in the door pocket.
THE PITCH | A TREATMENT
The story deconstructs the “Final Girl” trope. Jamie is not escaping to survive; she is escaping to hunt. The narrative focuses on her manipulation of the hospital ecosystem. She breaks the catering hot-plate cabinet weeks in advance, not with force, but with saline solution corrosion. She plays the long game.
The climax of the first act is the escape itself. It is not an explosion or a riot. It is silent. She hides inside the condemned catering unit as it is hauled away by unsuspecting contractors. It is a claustrophobic, high-tension sequence that establishes her intelligence and her ability to suppress her humanity, just like Michael.
SAMPLE SCENE | BROWSING
“You ain’t said a word for fifty miles,” the driver said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. He glanced at her. “That coat looks warm. A little big for you though, isn’t it? Looks like a boy’s coat.”
Jamie stared out at the rain streaking the glass. She pulled the collar of the blue parka up tight.
“My little girl was shy too,” the driver continued, his voice dropping an octave. “I know how to handle shy kids.”
He reached down to adjust his seat. As his hand moved, the interior light caught the inside of the door pocket. A roll of duct tape. A hunting knife. A coil of rope.
He hit the central locking button. Click.
“Now,” he smiled, looking at her in the rear-view mirror. “Let’s find somewhere quiet to pull over.”
AUTHOR NOTES | DIRECTION OF THE STORY
This is the “Hunter becomes the Hunted” scenario. The driver thinks he is the predator. The reveal of the murder kit confirms his intent, but the presence of the boy’s coat on Jamie confirms hers.
INTERNAL TEAM NOTES
JAMES: This creates a strange moment where the audience almost roots for Jamie. I’ll try not to make the driver’s intentions too obvious until we see his murder kit.
SAM: The lighting needs to be entirely diegetic, just the green glow of the dashboard and the headlights.
SUMMER: It shows her evolution. She is moving up the food chain.
DECISION | 21.05.27
JAMES: Approved for Issue #07.
Giving the impression that Jamie is the hero, but the twist is hopefully one the readers wouldn’t be expecting.